I grunt unnecessarily when I have to put on socks or shoes or pick something up off of the ground. You'd think I was pulling a thousand-year oak tree out of the ground bare-handed. What happens when I actually can't touch my toes (assuming I could before)?
I can't button the top button of my jeans. And consequently the universe has given me unmitigated permission to wear stretchy pants and elastic waist bands. Why did no one say so last Thanksgiving?
Because I don't look obviously pregnant (just pudgy, really), I must seem strangely fond of my growing midsection because I pat and rub it constantly. Like a kitty. I wish the baby purred.
The baby isn't big enough to kick me good and hard, just tickle my insides like butterfly kisses and indigestion. If the baby does not flutter me at least once a day, I worry it has disappeared somehow. I'm not sure where I think it goes, but worm holes and alternate dimensions are not out of the question.
My insides have rearranged according to feng shui, apparently bringing greater universal harmony to the space of my body. Oddly, this means that my stomach is located somewhere around my sternum. And I'm not sure my bladder exists anymore.
23 hours ago
7 comments:
AWWW, you make me baby hungry!=)
STRETCHY PANTS! Is there some sort of waiver I can receive that will give me this universe-approved unmitigated permission to wear said pants even though I don't have baby growing in my belly? Is there a form I can fill out somewhere? Please?!?
I find this exciting: grunting, rearranged organs, stretchy pants. Probably because it's not happening to me. But it means you're doing it, Lady! You're gonna be a mama. This is exciting.
I think you should start posting monthly pictures of your belly. I'm sure you're so cute!
This is going to be so fun. So SO fun.
stretchy pants and elastic waistbands are so hot right now.
I do miss that feeling of knowing I'm never quite alone, that I always have a little somebody to keep me company, even if it is only through butterfly kicks. Pregnacy is a wonderful time...it's really the only time when being a little pudgy is actually quite attractive and acceptable. Enjoy every moment.
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