So, Mike and I totally thought this one was a girl. We found out on Tuesday it is a BOY. When his little man-part appeared on the screen, I gasped. At first I thought she was deformed. Turns out boys have wee man-parts. So, all the times I told you confidently that I thought the baby was a girl, I was wrong.I thought it was a girl because the night before I took the second pregnancy test that confirmed my state, I had a dream about a little girl. I've never really had prophetic dreams before, but I thought I might start. I'm glad my dreams aren't prophetic 99 out of 100. Like, for instance, last night I had a dream that I gave birth to a pair of beautifully, creamy-skinned little Indian twins that I conceived after being taken advantage of by a bird. I had blocked out all of the memories of said event except for the wee beady eyes. This all happened pre-Mike, so I took up living with a crazy old lady who lived with a 50 ton gorilla. I hid the babies in my bra while I went to college classes. Clever, right? But, I digress. The point is, I'm glad my dreams aren't real, 99.9% of the time (and especially last night).
The other reason I believed "he was a she" is because I think it's normal to want to replicate your own family pattern. I felt like we were teetering between Mike's family pattern and my own. We are both the second children with older brothers. I guess I thought we would have a "me" next, not a Mike. Mostly because Mike was a hell-raiser and I was docile and perfect (someone back me up here? anybody? nobody?.....dang). Obviously, Mike turned out and I like him lots, so, bring on the hell-raiser.
It's also difficult for me to imagine loving any little person as much as I love Jude. The thought of splitting my love between a boy and girl seemed easier, because they're so different. Sharing love between two boys seems like some kind of betrayal. I can't tell Jude he's my favorite boy in the whole world any more. I know my love will grow and I'll love them both, but it's still hard for my brain to comprehend.
Anyway, I guess I'll have to put away all that adorable flowered fabric I bought for another day. And the slightly-feminine quilt I just made will have to pass for gender-neutral. (hey, it's got yellows and blues and only a few flowers...)
Lest I'm not clear, I'm excited, nay, ecstatic for a boy and for Jude to have a little buddy. Brothers are the best. I was prepared to be wrong, as I have little to no intuition about these things. According to his picture from the ultrasound, he will look like Skeletor. But the dang cutest Skeletor I have ever seen! Jude, on the other hand, is still holding out hope that the baby is a puppy.
