I learn slowly

The other day I decided to make a fall garland for our front door. I collected leaves while walking with Jude and then laid them all out on the table to string together. Of course, Jude immediately started to meddle, picking up leaves, taking them out of order, ripping them, throwing tantrums when asked oh-so-politely to cease and desist. I felt frustrated and nagged him to leave (pun intended) things alone and go into the other room. And then I gave up and just decided to let him help me. Jude sat on my lap and chose leaf after leaf to string on our garland and we did it together. It still turned out nicely and Jude was so excited about our garland and proud of our work together. I learn slowly. He just wanted to be a part of what I was doing. Both of us felt happier when we created together.



And Gabe helped, too, by drooling on things and being beautiful.

Jude and "mommies" (apparently I am now plural)

Lately, I've been worried about Jude when the new little man is born. I worry about not being able to hold him as much as I do (which is frankly as often as possible). I worry that he'll feel slighted by my shared attention. The thought breaks my heart. Today, when I was putting him down for his nap, rocking him was killing my ribs and back, but I couldn't put him down. I sang him song after song when he quietly asked for "mo" and wee tears stole down my cheeks during the lullabies. Time is not on my side. Jude is growing so quickly and soon there will be another little man. I don't know how to grapple with these changes in our family, all this growing.

Eskimo Kisses: Love Knows No Bounds